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Why do we stop making new friends as we get older?

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We become more inward-looking and pretend to be taking interest in the other person, but just on the face of it

Text Credits: Shibul Pavithran 

Being friendly and having a friend are two different things. You can be friendly with a lot of people, who may have received an email from you!  Rather, a friend is someone who remains one with you, without receiving a message for months or even years. And whenever you guys meet, there would be a conversation without any thoughtful pauses, essentially starting from where you must have left off. They will tell you how much fat or thin you have become; that your hair ‘latest’, ‘trending’ hair colour doesn’t really cut it out for you; never buy you a gift unless you ask for it but will order your favourite food without having to think much.

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Why don’t we find such people as we grow older? Simply because we become less patient or even less tolerant to the world around us. We lose our innocence, become pressured by work and life,  and get ripped by competitiveness so much so that we just withdraw into ourselves. When we are younger, we are definitely more naive and frank. Our worldview is limited to the school and college boundary. For young adults, it could be in the shared awe and shock of that first job or internship, when everyone around you is powerful and you are a helpless newbie. Darwin’s theory of survival becomes a reality as we keep getting older, accompanied with envy, malice and words like cut it off,  step ahead, move on and f**k off become the new commandments.

Unless you are a minor celebrity and have 5,000 friends on your personal Facebook page, you may just have few hundreds (and that too not the very enthusiastic types). Among those, the closest will be on your speed dial on phone, Whatsapp and if you are Instagramming, their comments would be the most ridiculous and sarcastic. Their special status as lifelong friends gives them the power of  a blank cheque and they don’t mince their words. Well, we wouldn’t take it from anybody else either.

There was a time when you could hate that guy, just because he had a better video game than yours. But you wouldn’t  dream of something like that as you grow up, and you realise, ‘Oh no! I don’t hate that guy’, and you feel funny about how you were back then..or whatever gave you the idea to be that little devil.

Having grown up with close friends, there is little to hide because all that nervousness and worry is common and reviewed continuously, and we are all equally clueless about most of the things.  At work, we all stick together because everyone gets exploited to the same degree.

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People bond over pain; success seems like a distant dream.  Some of the like-minded souls unite for a drink to share their pain and pleasures at work, with the limited money that they have, they gamble for more drinks. Such friendships keep us going through our 30s, 40s and beyond, when insecurities and life play hide and seek. The worries of wife, children, and parents will surround your life like black clouds without much sunshine. The responsibilities will make you feel like a torn and wounded soldier at the border line without any arms at your side. The daily routine of work and home, will slowly make you a flavorless man and you will slowly start sulking.

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We get offended by people who tell us the truth. We hate to be analysed and observed by others for our acts. We distance ourselves from these kinds of people, but why? This happens because we take ourselves too seriously, we attribute motives to people’s actions and we are suspicious of anyone who smiles too much.

Age is also a major factor. Who has the the time to start an evening with questions like, ‘tell me about your life’, ‘What were your childhood hobbies?’, or ‘Where did you study?’ Would we really like to go a back a few decades, to an age where we could talk endlessly without hesitation, deep breathing and second thoughts?  Later in life, there are far too many comparisons around us: What does one do for a living? What kind of car or bike one drives? Which school do the children go to? There is almost a mental checklist which restrains people from being open and trusting – from sharing their life with one another.

 

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We become inward looking and pretend to be interested in people, but not really. Without blunt honesty, there can never be true friendship. So with migration, movement, careers, families and whole lot of changes happening every now and then, our friends spread real far and there are few that we can count as lifelong friends. Yet, they keenly follow what we are becoming and we should be. And we should be totally grateful for that. For rest of the world, they can make friends with some random dudes or mutual friends on Facebook, without any connection whatsoever.

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Art

Navratri 2024: Celebrating the Nine Colours and Their Significance

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Navratri, the festival that spans nine nights, is one of the most auspicious and widely celebrated festivals in India. Dedicated to the worship of Goddess Durga in her nine forms, each day of Navratri holds special significance, marked by a distinct color that carries deep spiritual and cultural meaning. As we prepare for Navratri 2024, let’s explore the nine colors associated with each day, their significance, and how they inspire devotion, positivity, and harmony.

Day 1: Yellow

On Thursday, embrace the uplifting energy of yellow as you celebrate Navratri with optimism and joy. This warm and cheerful color symbolizes happiness and radiates positivity, keeping you in high spirits throughout the day.

Day 2: Green

On Friday, wear green, a color that represents nature, growth, and harmony. It evokes a sense of peace and serenity, while also symbolizing new beginnings. Let the vibrant energy of green invite tranquility and the blessings of the Goddess into your life.

Day 3: Grey

Saturday calls for the subtle sophistication of grey. This balanced color keeps you grounded and calm, symbolizing composure and understated elegance. It’s perfect for those who want to participate in Navratri with grace while making a refined style statement.

Day 4: Orange

On Sunday, adorn yourself in the vibrant hue of orange. This color embodies warmth, exuberance, and positivity. Wearing orange during Navratri invokes an upbeat energy, bringing vitality and a lively spirit to your celebrations.

Day 5: White

Start your Monday with the purity and serenity of white. Associated with innocence and spiritual clarity, this color invites inner peace and helps you connect with the divine blessings of the Goddess, offering a sense of security and calm.

Day 6: Red

On Tuesday, red takes center stage, symbolizing passion, love, and strength. As one of the most auspicious colors, red is often offered to the Goddess in the form of a Chunri. Wearing red fills you with energy, vigor, and the vibrant spirit of Navratri.

Day 7: Royal Blue

Wednesday’s color is royal blue, representing elegance, richness, and tranquility. This deep, vivid shade of blue exudes confidence and sophistication, making it an ideal choice for those who want to celebrate Navratri with style and grace.

Day 8: Pink

On Thursday, don the charming hue of pink, a symbol of universal love, affection, and harmony. Pink is a color that adds a soft touch of warmth and approachability, making it perfect for creating a loving and joyful atmosphere during the festivities.

Day 9: Purple

On the final day of Navratri, purple takes the spotlight. Associated with luxury, nobility, and grandeur, purple invites opulence into your life. Wearing this regal color while worshipping Navdurga bestows blessings of prosperity and richness, making it the perfect way to end your Navratri celebrations.

 

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Luxury

Cartier’s New High Jewellery Collection is a Love For The Wild

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In 2021, the American Museum of Natural History in New York presented Beautiful Creatures, an exhibition showcasing some of the most eccentric jewellery designs of the past century. One standout piece was the iconic crocodile necklace of Mexican actress María Félix, a loyal Cartier patron. Félix, renowned for her bold sense of style, famously strolled into Cartier’s Paris store in 1975 with her pet crocodile, requesting a necklace in its likeness. Cartier delivered, crafting two intertwined crocodiles encrusted with over a thousand emeralds and yellow diamonds. For Félix, crocodiles symbolized freedom, an embodiment of the spirit she associated with Mexico’s Golden Age of cinema.

Fast forward to today, and Félix’s wildest dreams seem to have come to life at Cartier’s latest high jewellery collection, Nature Sauvage, previewed at the historic Kursalon Hübner gallery in Vienna. Among the star pieces is the Koaga necklace, a masterful creation where a zebra clasps an emerald-cut diamond and a 6.25-carat pear-shaped rubellite in its mouth. The zebra’s form is exquisitely rendered in alternating onyx stripes and pavé diamonds, making the creature feel almost lifelike.

The relationship between animals and jewellery has deep mythological roots, often glorified through rituals and symbolism. In ancient Egypt, scarab beetles were worn as earrings to signify respect for life’s cyclical nature. Meanwhile, in Hellenistic Greece, gods and goddesses took on the forms of winged creatures in adornment. So, what is it about animal-themed jewellery that continues to captivate us? According to Amanda Triossi, a jewellery historian based in Rome, the allure lies in our primal instincts: “Wearing wild animals like panthers or tigers gives one the sense of having conquered them. It’s empowering, as if you inherit the animal’s strength and attributes.”

Cartier captures this essence beautifully in its Amphista necklace. Featuring two intertwined snakes with diamond scales set with emeralds, their heads adorned with kite-shaped diamonds, the necklace echoes ancient Chinese philosophy’s yin-yang balance. The pièce de résistance? Nine octagonal Colombian emeralds, weighing a total of 14.72 carats.

Triossi also notes that many historical heroes are often depicted draped in the skins of animals they’ve vanquished, a symbol of triumph. Today, jewellery transforms that symbol into something precious and eternal—animal skins reimagined in imperishable materials.

Later that evening, at a celebration held at Vienna’s Kunsthistorisches Museum, the largest in Austria, the enchantment of Cartier’s collection was heightened. The museum’s octagonal domes featured paintings of animals dancing with angels, setting the stage for a magical night. Guests were greeted by masterpieces such as Rembrandt’s Self-Portrait and Caravaggio’s Madonna of the Rosary, alongside Cartier page boys in their signature red hats. The evening’s soundtrack, a seamless blend of Bach and Kygo, was curated by DJ Gillian Sagansky, lending a modern twist to the classical ambiance.

The following day brought another cultural adventure—a visit to Otto Wagner’s Villa, a stunning summer palace designed by the famed architect. The paintings adorning the villa’s walls depicted animals in various forms—some caught in purgatory, others wandering the biblical bardo, with alligators restlessly emerging from swampy landscapes.

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Luxury

Indian Craftsmanship Meets Italian Savoir Faire : Rahul Mishra x Tod’s

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Quiet luxury was expected to dominate for a while, with many predicting that the return of bold, extravagant fashion would take its time. However, maximalism seems to be making a swift comeback, especially in the realm of designer collaborations. Hot on the heels of the vibrant, print-heavy H&M x Anamika Khanna collection, another limited-edition line has arrived, celebrating opulent luxury: Rahul Mishra x Tod’s.

As part of Tod’s T-Factory project, which features exclusive collaborations with creative innovators, this marks Indian couturier Rahul Mishra’s debut in the international accessories space.

Mishra is a true ambassador of Indian design. Along with his wife Divya Mishra, he leads his eponymous label, which has brought the essence of India to the global stage in remarkable ways. A regular at Paris Fashion Week and the first Indian designer to showcase at Paris Haute Couture Week, his creations have adorned celebrities like Zendaya and Mark Zuckerberg, and have graced magazine covers in South Korea, China, and Europe. With such a path-defining legacy, it’s no surprise that Mishra and his visionary label were Tod’s natural choice for their first-ever Indian collaboration.

Mishra describes this collaboration as a beautiful fusion of “Italian craftsmanship serving as the canvas for Indian vision.” Tod’s iconic Gommino loafers and mules, along with the Di Bag and T Timeless shoulder bag, have been reimagined with intricate resham embroidery, crystals, and sequins—all meticulously hand-embroidered at Mishra’s atelier in Noida. “It was a technically challenging process that took time to perfect. I can confidently say these are some of the finest bags and shoes you’ll ever witness, in terms of craftsmanship and longevity. Such pieces are forever,” Mishra proudly shares.

Crafted entirely between India and Italy, the limited-edition pieces from this collection are a true love letter to the artisanal heritage of both nations. “There’s a beauty in the teamwork here,” Mishra explains. “We received raw materials from Italy and worked on integrating our embroideries seamlessly into their leather. The pieces were then sent back to Tod’s, where they transformed them into stunning, three-dimensional products. In that sense, it’s been a genuine collaboration between Italy and India.”

Mishra firmly believes that the future of global design will be shaped by a global Indian aesthetic. “Just as French, Italian, British, and Japanese designs are now seen as universal,” he explains. This collaboration marks a significant step in advancing that narrative. “When you push the boundaries of ‘handmade in India’ to be respected at the pinnacle of luxury, everything else will naturally follow,” he emphasizes.

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